27 March 2006

The Team presentation.

The Team Presentation is a crazy concept that seems to continue for no other reason that someone never bothered to ask, ‘why are we doing this, and who is it for’.

It’s a promotions man wet dream, all the press, all the team, all the bikes. Unfortunately it was our Promo Man’s first wet dream, as I could have (and anyone with half a brain) organised in a few minutes, a far more exciting, politically correct, and cool presentation. Do I sound a little bit pissed off? Well you are on the money, if strangulation was legal in The Netherlands, I would have been in for a treat, half the team would have been lining up after me, as well. A wise someone said ‘never work with children or animals’, well he was wrong, they are both fine to work with, it was our guy he was really talking about.

Nice and shiny

I am not going to go on about it for too long, but a few examples might make you think that it’s not all my pedantic and pathetic attention to small details, and obsessive professionalism working against me here. But come on, how hard can it be, you have a job, do it, think about your team, and what the public might be thinking on our grand public debut.

The picture takers.

The shot they didn't want, time to get serious now.

Just a couple here for you. Hey, lets introduce the girls, but instead using of some cool music, available in every ones CD cases or computers. He decides to choose a song that opens with the words ‘He’s a fine looking fellow, he’s got a belly that’s yellow’, By the time I stopped cringing, the rider is on the stage, so the very loud music stops dead. Hey, that fantastic looking woman (they got the spit and polish treatment again, this time they were looking awesome) is not a ‘Fellow’, she’s the best in her sport, in the best team in the world, her ‘belly is not yellow'…. Work it out. And to top that, when the international Girls were on stage, a change of song for the Dutch Girls. Not only did he manage to make the other girls on stage feel stink for where they were born (hey, some of our best and longest serving members were up there). He singled out the fact they were not the same as the girls to come. But to top that the song he spent weeks choosing to bring the Dutch girls out, it was better than the first song, ‘Born in the USA’ by whatever his name was, Bruce something. Loud, and very recognisable. They are Dutch, not USA born, got it yet.

Time for some individual shots, Madeline.

A presentation is just that, we present our team, riders, staff and all the equipment for the season. You will see many of these such photos and articles in most of the magazines, as all the teams go through the process. Hey it’s a good thing if done well. If the press love it, they give a good report, if the sponsors love it, they pay more next season, period. Don’t make us all look so stupid next time eh. We worked very hard for this day, well some of us did, most of the team travelled a long way for a few hours as well, make it good.
There I will stop, but this and another 20 other points, really wrecked my day, three days work prior, one day setting up, organising the pick up and delivery of 10 girls, four vehicles, five other staff, five bikes (so clean I ate my lunch off them), 10 wheels, equipment and lights, and the packing down, drop offs, deliveries etc etc. Next time I take control a little early on. Then we will see what a song and dance should look like.

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